Is it true love or 'love bombing'? When intense affection turns into emotional control

Love bombing is a term used to describe a pattern of intense affection and attention that can precede emotional abuse in a romantic relationship. It often involves excessive compliments, constant communication, and a desire for long-term commitment at the beginning of a relationship. This behaviour is designed to overwhelm the other person and make them question their feelings and decisions.

The term originated in the 1970s within the Unification Church, a South Korean religious movement that has been described as a cult. Love bombing can be difficult to distinguish from healthy forms of early courtship, but it is a red flag for potential abuse. Clinicians have noticed that love bombing is often present in domestic violence cases.

It can take the form of over-the-top compliments designed to appeal to the recipient's deepest vulnerabilities, such as their beauty or intelligence. Love bombers also tend to contact their partners frequently and may imply they are seeking a long-term commitment. The goal is to overwhelm the person so that they don't question the speed of the relationship or their own feelings.

Love bombers may test their partner's commitment by withdrawing attention or acting mean, then apologizing later. While not all love bombers become abusive, they often display narcissistic traits. It can be challenging to recognize love bombing when it occurs, as it can be mistaken for genuine interest. However, it is essential to trust one's instincts and be wary of partners who threaten boundaries, personal interests, or friendships.