What to Say to Someone With Terrible Table Manners

Table manners, while often perceived as universal rules, are actually shaped by culture, family, and upbringing. Psychologists and etiquette experts suggest considering whether the behavior is truly rude or simply different from one's own habits. Slurping, eating with hands, or keeping elbows on the table may be perceived differently based on one's background.

However, actions that interfere with comfort or hygiene, like talking while chewing or sharing utensils while sick, should be addressed. It's important not to jump to conclusions about a person's character based on their table manners. People often react to the assumed meaning behind a behavior, rather than the behavior itself. Correcting someone's table manners can be awkward and may lead to misunderstandings about the person's character.

It's generally best to avoid correcting strangers or acquaintances, as it can cause embarrassment. Focus on addressing the issue with close relationships, such as partners or children, where it's more appropriate. If you decide to bring up the matter, do so away from the table and away from the presence of others. Be specific about the behavior and avoid making broad judgments.

For instance, you could say, "I've noticed you sometimes talk with food in your mouth, and I find that affects my enjoyment of meals. Would you be open to me pointing it out when it happens?" This approach assumes the person may not be aware of the behavior and gives them a chance to address it without feeling attacked.