Confidence is culturally coded: What working across countries taught me about who gets heard

A Taiwanese senior leader, who had spent over a decade in an American organization, noticed a difference in his communication style when he spoke to colleagues in the United States. He became more animated and expressive, a shift that his wife observed as well. This adaptation allowed him to effectively work within the American corporate environment, even though it barely registered with him.

Research indicates that people working across languages and cultures unconsciously learn which communication styles are understood and rewarded, eventually adopting them almost unconsciously. The same pattern is observed in my own life, where my husband switches between French with his family and English at work and with me. He warms up and laughs more easily in French, while in English, he adopts a more formal tone.

These subtle adjustments occur as people navigate different contexts and relationships, and in global workplaces, they become even more complex due to varying expectations around confidence and hierarchy. Organizations often misinterpret these culturally shaped behaviors as if they carry a single, universal meaning. Factors such as pace, volume, eye contact, response speed, and initial speech readiness contribute to the perception of confidence, which varies across cultural backgrounds.

In some workplaces, visible enthusiasm and quick responses are seen as engagement and readiness, while in others, a more measured style is considered mature and respectful. These interpretations shape who is heard and recognized for greater responsibilities. The concept of "executive presence" is often assumed to describe a stable set of leadership qualities, but in reality, it is influenced by cultural expectations of how authority should be expressed.

In a communication session organized by an HR manager in the Philippines, she mentioned the group generally worked well together, although the Thai team was very quiet and sometimes hurt the Singaporean team's feelings. This highlights the complexity of regional communication, where silence can convey respect, reflection, discomfort, or quiet disagreement, while directness may be interpreted as honesty and efficiency or as abrupt and harsh, depending on the listener's expectations.

Despite this variation, the region exhibits no single communication style, and even within a single country, expectations differ based on industry and generation. The question to consider lies in understanding the meaning behind a person's interpretation of silence, their acceptance of disagreement, or their perception of certainty.

More crucial than any assumption about a nationality's speaking style is the "invisible work" of code-switching. Although code-switching is commonly associated with language changes, it also encompasses the adjustment of tone, vocabulary, appearance, or emotional expression to fit a particular setting. Some of this adaptation is beneficial, enabling people to work across cultures and have their ideas better received.

However, it can also require significant, often unnoticed, effort. People learn to soften disagreements, assert points more forcefully, modify accents, or control emotional displays. Over time, these adaptations become automatic. A Swiss client working in Dubai began incorporating the expression "inshallah" into his speech without realizing it, reflecting the gradual absorption of cultural language and rhythm.

Cultural flexibility is recognized as a valuable capability in global business, but constant monitoring of one's speech and behavior can be mentally exhausting, especially when a person suspects their natural style will be perceived as less professional or credible. As a result, the line between adaptation and identity can become blurred.

A style initially adopted deliberately may eventually become an integral part of a person's identity. Global companies claim to value diverse perspectives, but their definition of leadership often still aligns with communication styles familiar to decision-makers. Leadership is perceived differently across cultures, with one model emphasizing decisiveness and visible energy, while another highlights careful listening and relationship-building.

These models are not culturally neutral and shape people's implicit notions of what constitutes a leader.