How to be irresistible on dating apps, according to science
Some professors might recoil at the idea of looking at their students’ dating app profiles. Not Gurit Birnbaum, a professor of psychology at Reichman University. She saw it as an opportunity. Some of the young people in Birnbaum’s classes, as well as close friends, asked for her advice and turned their phones over to her. […]
Dating app profiles can make or break your chances of finding a match, according to psychology professor Gurit Birnbaum. Some common mistakes people make when creating their profiles include being too vague, relying too heavily on sexualized images, or simply blending in with the crowd. To stand out, Birnbaum suggests being creative and original in how you present yourself.
One of the biggest misconceptions in online dating is the idea that you must sell yourself and exaggerate the truth. Instead, use your unique qualities and vivid descriptions to showcase your authentic self. In fact, profiles that were perceived as original contained vivid descriptions, metaphors, and frequent use of adjectives and adverbs. Instead of simply stating that you like to run, you could say, "I'm a star in the kitchen" or "Tell me about your favorite running trails."
Birnbaum's research also found that storytelling is more effective at garnering empathy and interest than a list of likes and dislikes. People are more likely to connect with you when you actively describe your experiences, reactions, or actions rather than simply listing qualities. For example, instead of calling yourself "funny," you might say, "I laugh at my own jokes first. It's a character flaw."
Sharing too little information can make you appear uninterested in a relationship, while sharing too much can overwhelm potential matches. A good approach is to strike a balance by disclosing enough information to create trust and connection without revealing all your secrets upfront. Concrete self-disclosures were rated as more original, such as "I start every day with waffles and ice cream" instead of "I'm a foodie."
Finally, it's important to signal your willingness to get to know someone else. While it's natural to focus on what you're looking for in a partner, it's equally important to show interest in understanding them as well. Birnbaum even created a hypothetical dating app profile for a hypothetical woman in her mid-30s, including a mix of photos and a bio that showcased her interests and personality without sounding generic.
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