Sexualität: Was kann ich tun, wenn ich einfach nicht zum Orgasmus komme?

Struggling to reach orgasm during sex is a common issue faced by many individuals. It's a normal part of life to experience phases where orgasm becomes elusive or hard to achieve. There's no need for concern. The good news is that with the right approaches, a fulfilling sexuality can be developed or rediscovered. It's about more than just the orgasm itself, but also communication and self-exploration.

The challenge often lies in the shame that prevents open communication. Both partners actually want the same thing - more understanding and better sex. Dr. Ann-Marlene Henning, a sexual therapist from Flensburg, advises: "Try, speak up - but not in the middle of the sexual situation. That's only for the advanced." To have a meaningful conversation about intimacy, there needs to be enough time and peace.

If a couple wants to discuss sexual matters, they may need to push past a boundary and dare to do something new. Henning gives an example of how to start small in everyday life: "I never tried your top before." The key is to speak openly with your partner or spouse about your own needs: "What is important to me, what feels good?"

Another challenge is translating what feels good during solo sex into partner sex. Dr. Henning mentions two examples: a woman who can only orgasm through thigh-grinding and intense rubbing, or a man who only gets aroused by visual stimulation from porn. Therefore, it's important to pay attention during solo sex to what later translates into partnered sex - perhaps gentler touches or the inclusion of fantasies instead of just visual stimuli.

One practical tip is the stop trick, which increases physical sensation and arousal as you approach climax. Just before the peak, pause stimulation, relax, breathe deeply, and then continue. "After this, the arousal becomes much more noticeable," Henning says. If none of this works, there's no need for panic. Help is available, so it's important to know where to turn.

Usually, sexual therapists are the right contact for sexual issues, while couple therapists handle relationship concerns, and gynecologists or urologists address physical causes. Above all, good sex doesn't necessarily mean orgasming every time.