‘No, I want Mum!’ Does it feel like your child has a favourite parent?
It’s okay if a child occasionally chooses one parent over the other. What matters more is whether the child has reliable relationships with both parents.
Parents often receive the heartbreaking cry of "no, I want Mum!" or "only Dad can put me to bed tonight." This can feel personal for parents, who worry their child loves one parent more or that they have failed in their role. Rest assured, these preferences are usually temporary and a normal part of child development, rather than a sign of disloyalty.
Research shows that children can form strong attachments to both parents, seeking out the caregiver who provides comfort and care during distressing times. For instance, if Mum is present more often, a child may gravitate towards her when they fall and hurt themselves. The parent who typically handles bedtime may also be favored due to familiarity, not rejection.
These preferences can change as children grow and family dynamics shift. A child may prefer one parent for swimming lessons and the other for meals. Understanding these patterns can help parents respond appropriately.
The best way to approach a child's favorite parent is to acknowledge their feelings without taking it personally. Parents should focus on maintaining regular involvement and a consistent parenting approach. This means not competing against each other and ensuring both parents have meaningful opportunities to care for the child. While a child may occasionally prefer one parent, it's not a reflection of their love or the strength of the parent-child relationship. Instead, it's a normal part of development and temporary preference.
Written by urgent.news from The Conversation AU's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
