I moved from the US to Australia 6 years ago. I love my life abroad, but still feel guilty every day.
Expat guilt doesn't go away. You just get better at coping with it.
Jaimee Marshall, the author, moved from Philadelphia to Australia in 2020 with the intention of staying for a few months. However, she ended up staying for six years and becoming a permanent resident. While she loves her life in Australia, she still experiences guilt from being so far away from her family and friends. Expatriates are subject to various stressors like losing cultural norms, adjusting to a new culture, and changes in identity and self-concept.
Initially, the first one to two years is similar to the honeymoon phase of a relationship, but over time, the excitement settles, and the practical aspects of living in a new place begin to take over. The author notes that despite all the wonderful experiences she has had, she has missed a lot in her home country, including birthdays, funerals, and other important events.
The cognitive dissonance of having two homes weighs on her, making her feel like she is a bad person for not being there for her loved ones. The guilt of expatriates is a coping mechanism for the cognitive dissonance they experience by being happy where they are, but feeling guilty about not being where they feel they should be.
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