OP-ED: Midlife crisis? What midlife crisis?

Midlife may not diminish ambition, but rather increases discernment in allocating time. A brother recently embarked on a three-day solo hike in the Groot Winterhoek Wilderness, a journey that proved therapeutic. The experience fostered deep conversations, fresh perspectives, and laughter. Reflecting on the significance of this adventure, the writer and her brother explored the transformative potential of midlife.

They acknowledged that life's journey does not adhere to preconceived paths, and that unforeseen challenges may arise. However, reconnecting with old friends during this phase of life can offer profound insights. As noted by Canadian psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques in a 1965 paper, midlife can bring about a creative or emotional upheaval, but it does not necessarily result in a decline or crisis.

Instead, it can signify a new phase of self-expression and creativity. Jaques' argument suggests that midlife ambition may not wane but rather recalibrate, shifting focus from status-seeking to a more intentional use of remaining time. Midlife often brings a sense of fatigue, stemming from the relentless pursuit of goals and the exhaustion of chasing distant milestones.

During early adulthood, there is an assumption that time is limitless, but realizing the finite nature of remaining time often prompts a shift in priorities. This realization may lead to acquiring new skills, simplifying lifestyle choices, or reassessing relationships. It offers an opportunity to consciously mold a life grounded in lived experiences.

The concept of "generative concern" – the inclination to support others through accumulated wisdom – tends to become more prominent in midlife. Research has linked activities such as mentoring, volunteering, and supporting others to increased personal well-being. However, the writer emphasizes the importance of actively shaping one's own future.

Oliver Burkeman's analogy of the "kayak" and the "superyacht" serves as a metaphor for navigating life. While humans may desire the serenity of a superyacht, navigating life is more akin to being in a kayak, responding to the river's currents rather than expecting life to follow a predetermined plan. Burkeman's advice is to focus on the next stretch of river, responding purposefully to the present moment rather than expecting life to unfold according to a plan.

Midlife brings a perspective that makes this easier to achieve. The writer encourages readers to contemplate key questions, such as what they would like to do more or less of, who they want to spend more time with, how they want their ordinary days to feel, and what they wish to learn or experience. Rather than resisting the arrival of midlife, it can be embraced as an invitation to seek new perspectives.

With the wisdom that comes with age, this shift enables a focus beyond status and achievement, towards autonomy, creativity, contribution, and balance.