The hidden costs of love: Financial risks for women in relationships

As more South Africans opt for cohabitation instead of traditional marriage, financial advisors are sounding the alarm about the hidden risks women face when relationships dissolve. While living together may seem like a natural progression in a romantic partnership, it can also expose women to significant financial vulnerability, particularly if they have sacrificed their earnings, career advancements, or retirement savings to support the relationship.

Sharon Hamman, a senior legal adviser at Momentum, warns that many women make financial sacrifices during extended relationships that can have lasting repercussions. These sacrifices may include taking career breaks to care for children, working fewer hours, supporting a partner's professional development, or performing household tasks that do not equate to financial security if the relationship ends.

This warning comes as marriage rates continue to decline both globally and in South Africa. According to the National Research Foundation, the number of formal marriages has dropped sharply, from around 186,522 in 2008 to just 99,289 in 2023. Additionally, South Africans are marrying later in life, with the median age of first-time brides ranging from 33 to 34 years in 2023, compared to around 27 years for women two decades earlier.

The financial risks women encounter in relationships are further compounded by persistent gender inequalities. Despite legislation mandating equal pay for equal work, South Africa's gender pay gap remains stubbornly high at between 23% and 35%, according to research from Stellenbosch Business School. This disparity stems from factors such as occupational segregation, career interruptions, unconscious bias, and the unequal burden of caregiving responsibilities, which all contribute to women earning less and accumulating less wealth over their careers.

The International Labour Organization reports that the global gender gap averages around 20%, underlining the severity of the situation in South Africa. These disadvantages often intersect with domestic dynamics. A 2026 study published in Social Sciences reveals that South African women still bear a disproportionate share of unpaid care work, including childcare, household management, and supporting their partner's career.

While these contributions are invaluable, they do not automatically translate into financial security or property rights upon the dissolution of the relationship. Rene Moonsamy, director of National Debt Counsellors, emphasizes that many women make substantial economic contributions to their partnerships through caregiving and household management but may not automatically gain ownership of assets or financial protection in the event of a breakup.

A common misconception is that cohabiting couples acquire the same legal rights as married partners. However, cohabitation does not automatically grant women rights to shared assets, maintenance, or inheritance. Moonsamy clarifies that while the law recognizes certain inheritance and maintenance rights for partners in permanent life partnerships that end through death, such protections do not extend to separations during lifetimes.

Both financial experts stress the importance of proactive financial planning in serious long-term relationships. This includes open discussions about finances before moving in together, maintaining records of significant financial contributions, preserving independent savings and retirement investments, updating wills and beneficiary designations, and considering cohabitation agreements that clearly outline asset ownership and financial responsibilities.

Charize Beukes, a financial planner at Brenthurst Wealth Management, advises that a cohabitation agreement should explicitly detail financial arrangements in case of separation or the death of one partner. She notes that such agreements are not a sign of a doomed relationship but rather a prudent financial safeguard to prevent disputes and ensure clarity should the relationship end.