{
  "id": 7094283,
  "title": "The Sunday Papers",
  "url": "https://urgent.news/2026/09/13/the-sunday-papers",
  "topic": "tech",
  "section": "Tech",
  "published": "2026-09-13T10:00:00.000Z",
  "source": {
    "name": "Rock Paper Shotgun",
    "slug": "rock-paper-shotgun",
    "url": "https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/the-sunday-papers-827"
  },
  "original_language": "en",
  "account": "Sundays are a time of reflection, realizing that after playing The Blood of Dawnwalker, one may develop a desire for blackcurrant juice. Unable to find any in the cupboard, the protagonist ventures out to purchase some, traversing rooftops while surrounded by a mist. Upon arriving at the supermarket, they encounter attackers armed with shopping carts, engaging in a battle as they make their way through the aisles. The sweet crimson nectar beckons, and the protagonist reaches for a bottle. Suddenly, a hand reaches out from the display, gripping their wrist. \"Brencis?\" the protagonist cries out, but there is no response. Instead, the strange appendage drags them along the aisle at a rapid pace, knocking over bottles that clang against their face. Despite the pain, the rogue arm does not loosen its grip. Blinking away spilled beverages, the protagonist finds themselves face-to-face with a label reading, \"Steve Ballmer Betrayed His Fellow Billionaires, And They Are Not Pleased.\" The story and the unusual penalty the Clippers and Ballmer received are ultimately about the other 29 franchise owners policing their cohort's conduct. Some of these owners helped Ballmer into the group 12 years ago when Donald Sterling disgraced himself, and now they are getting their revenge for his betrayal. As the protagonist reads the label, the arm pulls them away once more, dragging them down the soup aisle and coating their face in baked beans. The label on a packet reads, \"The Blood of Dawnwalker's lack of stealth makes this Witcher 3-like feel incomplete.\" The protagonist is drawn towards the fruit and veg section, only to be slapped with apples and bananas. \"Pleeeesseee, stopppp,\" they mumble through a mouth nearly blocked by a loose turnip. In the frozen section, a marrow catches their eye, with the label stating that it is Petit Planet's latest build bringing Pokopia-inspired elements to Animal Crossing in space. As they ponder this, the world becomes a blur, and the temperature drops. The frozen section beckons, and despite the overwhelming cold, the protagonist manages to beg the arm to stop. A box offers instructions on how to throw a LAN party in 2026, found in the frozen section. The protagonist wonders why this is there, but ultimately decides to indulge in a LAN party with friends, finding it more enjoyable than playing over Discord. However, technical and logistical issues arise, and they find themselves frozen in a trolley of frozen peas, with the vampire from The Blood of Dawnwalker watching over them. Adrian Edmondson laughs maniacally as he pushes at warp speed, urging the protagonist and the vampire to hold on for dear life.",
  "summary": "Sundays are for realising that after playing The Blood of Dawnwalker , you've developed a craving for blackcurrant juice. There's none in the cupboard, so you venture out to get some, floating across the rooftops as a trail of mist as you go. You arrive at the supermarket, fangs bared and claws out. You parry and dodge attackers armed with trollies as you fight your way up the aisles. There it…",
  "key_points": [],
  "editors_take": null,
  "illustration": null,
  "coverage": {
    "outlets": 1,
    "also_reported_by": []
  },
  "ai_generated": true,
  "disclaimer": "Summaries, key points and the editor’s take are written by software from other outlets’ reporting and may contain errors — always check the linked original."
}