{
  "id": 6950969,
  "title": "The futility of ‘if only’",
  "url": "https://urgent.news/2026/09/12/the-futility-of-if-only",
  "topic": "business",
  "section": "Business",
  "published": "2026-09-12T16:00:00.000Z",
  "source": {
    "name": "Philippine Star Business",
    "slug": "philippine-star-business",
    "url": "https://www.philstar.com/business/2026/09/13/2555816/futility-if-only"
  },
  "original_language": "en",
  "account": "The phrase \"if only\" in English may seem innocuous, but it can hinder personal growth and progress. These words often appear in our conversations and thoughts as desires or regrets, such as \"if only I had a better opportunity,\" \"if only I had more money,\" \"if only I had chosen the right partner,\" \"if only I worked for the right company,\" or \"if only I had better parents or more education.\" While these phrases may appear as simple wishes, they conceal a more significant issue. When we utter \"if only,\" we shift responsibility for our lives away from ourselves, blaming external circumstances or others, as if our progress depends on factors beyond our control rather than our own actions. Life isn't always fair; some individuals have more advantages, while others have fewer. Rather than debating fairness, it's crucial to concentrate on what we can accomplish with what we have. The problem with thinking \"if only\" is that it makes us feel like victims, seeking answers from others instead of taking action ourselves. It's easy to expect parents, bosses, companies, or even the government to fix things for us. Although seeking assistance is essential, relying excessively on others is risky. When we allow others to control what should be our responsibility, we relinquish control over our future and set ourselves up for disappointment. The truth is straightforward, even if we sometimes forget it: if you don't take charge of your life, no one else will. Everyone has their own challenges to address, and organizations have their own objectives. The world doesn't revolve around our desires. If we wait for others to resolve issues we could handle ourselves, we will simply remain stagnant and frustrated. There is a significant distinction between what we earn and what is given to us. The money we earn carries more weight than money we are handed. It's not just about the quantity, but also about the lessons learned through earning. Working for something fosters discipline, resilience, and self-respect. These qualities shape who we are. However, if we become accustomed to receiving things without effort, we can become dependent, and over time, this dependence can gradually undermine our confidence and drive. That's why sudden wealth, like winning the lottery, seldom enhances someone's character. It might alter their lifestyle, but it doesn't build character. Without the discipline that comes from earning, the foundation is weak, and the rewards won't endure. Similarly, people who overly depend on others often feel stuck, not because there are no opportunities, but because they haven't taken responsibility. Reliance on others might feel convenient at first, but it carries an underlying cost. In the long run, it leads to frustration rather than genuine satisfaction. Deep down, everyone desires to feel they've achieved something and taken control of their life. Without this, even success can feel hollow. True success and fulfillment stem from earning the respect of the most important judge: yourself. The solution isn't complicated, but it's not always easy either. It begins with deciding to stop using \"if only\" and start taking ownership and action. \"If only\" keeps us trapped in the past, contemplating what might have been. What we need is a mindset that looks forward and asks, \"What can I do now?\" This shift helps us move from blame to responsibility, from regret to action. Instead of wasting energy blaming others when things go wrong, it's better to focus on fixing the problem. When we stop worrying about who's to blame and start thinking about what we can do, we start making progress. Life often responds to this change. Opportunities become more apparent, challenges seem less daunting, and we begin to feel more in control. Ultimately, what matters isn't what we don't have, but how we react to what we have. Saying \"if only\" keeps us stuck in the past, fixated on things beyond our control. Asking \"what now?\" propels us forward with purpose. It's in moving forward that life begins to work for us, not against us.",
  "summary": "Two simple words in English, “if only,” might seem harmless at first, but they can quietly keep us from growing and moving forward.",
  "key_points": [],
  "editors_take": null,
  "illustration": null,
  "coverage": {
    "outlets": 1,
    "also_reported_by": []
  },
  "ai_generated": true,
  "disclaimer": "Summaries, key points and the editor’s take are written by software from other outlets’ reporting and may contain errors — always check the linked original."
}