{
  "id": 6141389,
  "title": "Struggling to find “the one”? A new psychology study says the problem might be your underlying motivation",
  "url": "https://urgent.news/2026/09/07/struggling-to-find-the-one-a-new-psychology-study-says-the-problem",
  "topic": "health",
  "section": "Health & Medicine",
  "published": "2026-09-07T13:00:25.000Z",
  "source": {
    "name": "PsyPost",
    "slug": "psypost",
    "url": "https://www.psypost.org/struggling-to-find-the-one-a-new-psychology-study-says-the-problem-might-be-your-underlying-motivation/"
  },
  "original_language": "en",
  "account": "A recent psychology study reveals that the underlying motivation of single individuals plays a significant role in shaping their relationship desires and achieving dating goals. According to the research published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, the reasons behind seeking a romantic partnership can determine the type of partnership pursued and its success.\n\nThe study, conducted by Laura Hawkins, a second-year PhD student in psychology at the University of Toronto, utilized Self-determination theory to categorize the motivations behind wanting a relationship. This theory posits that human motivation exists on a spectrum, ranging from actions taken for pure enjoyment to those driven by external pressures. The researchers identified four types of motivation: intrinsic, identified, introjected, external, and amotivation.\n\nIntrinsic motivation, which involves enjoying relationships for what they are, and identified motivation, which means personally valuing partnership, are linked to setting goals focused on high-quality connections. These individuals had a higher likelihood of aiming for fun, emotional intimacy, and entering healthy relationships. On the other hand, those driven by introjected motivation, which involves acting to avoid guilt or boost self-worth, tended to prioritize securing a relationship over its quality. They were more likely to set goals like going on dates, having sex, socializing, or improving physical attractiveness.\n\nInterestingly, the study found that singles driven by introjected motivation made less progress toward their relationship goals over the six-month period. External motivation, or dating to appease others, was mainly associated with the goal of going on dates, while amotivation was strongly linked to a desire to remain single or setting no relationship goals at all.\n\nThe researchers noted that although it may seem easier to enter a relationship than a quality one, individuals who simply wanted to enter a relationship (regardless of its quality) made less progress on their goals. This might be due to the fact that their primary motivation was to improve their self-image, which could potentially hinder their ability to build a romantic connection.\n\nIn conclusion, the study suggests that understanding a single person's core motivations can provide valuable insights into their relationship goals and the likelihood of achieving them.",
  "summary": "A new study suggests that your underlying reasons for wanting a relationship shape the kind of partner you seek. While dating for genuine connection leads to high-quality goals, dating for validation can actually sabotage your romantic success.",
  "key_points": [],
  "editors_take": null,
  "illustration": null,
  "coverage": {
    "outlets": 1,
    "also_reported_by": []
  },
  "ai_generated": true,
  "disclaimer": "Summaries, key points and the editor’s take are written by software from other outlets’ reporting and may contain errors — always check the linked original."
}