{
  "id": 3457083,
  "title": "College football 'gifts': Nick Saban gets time machine, Lane Kiffin scores new team",
  "url": "https://urgent.news/2026/08/26/college-football-gifts-nick-saban-gets-time-machine-lane-kiffin",
  "topic": "culture",
  "section": "Culture",
  "published": "2026-08-26T07:32:35.000Z",
  "source": {
    "name": "Yahoo Sports",
    "slug": "yahoo-sports",
    "url": "https://sports.yahoo.com/articles/college-football-gifts-nick-saban-073235089.html"
  },
  "original_language": "en",
  "account": "As the preseason rolls around each year, one recurring tradition unfolds: generous college football figures bestow gifts upon their peers. This act, a nod to the adage that it's better to give than receive, sees no reciprocation from those on the receiving end. Nick Saban takes the top spot on the list, receiving a time machine. Lane Kiffin receives the Cleveland Browns' practice squad. Curt Cignetti gets a Vanity Fair article. Tony Petitti receives a crown and scepter. Greg Sankey gets a metrics trophy. Dabo Swinney gets a ride in Saban's time machine. Tyler from Spartanburg gains vindication. Kirby Smart takes home a statue. Jon Sumrall receives a Regal Nails gift card. Florida Gators press corps gets a bolted-down lectern. Kalen DeBoer gets a cameo in \"Men in Black.\" Brent Venables receives another contract extension. James Franklin gets a redemption tour. Dan Lanning scores a strong Q4 for Nike. Eric Morris gets a good taxidermist. Steve Sarkisian takes a Basket Weaving 101 course at UT-Austin. Pete Golding gets a Basket Weaving 102 course at Mississippi. Kyle Whittingham receives a motorcycle ride on M-119. Southern Cal gets Penn State's schedule. Texas gets Miami's schedule. Ohio State gets Notre Dame's schedule. Oklahoma gets Indiana's schedule. Indiana gets Howard's schedule. Will Leitch gets a pair of Warby Parker glasses. Ted Cruz receives a copy of \"I Alone Can Fix It.\" Jere Morehead gets a copy of \"Henny Penny.\" Solomon Tuliaupupu gets a 10th year of eligibility. Joey McGuire gets a black hat. Cody Campbell gets a muzzle. Kalani Sitake receives Cody Campbell's checkbook. Dante Moore gets a Heisman Trophy. CJ Carr gets a trip to New York to watch Moore win the Heisman Trophy. Arch Manning receives Dante Moore's defense. Gunner Stockton gets Arch Manning's wide receivers. Keelon Russell gets Gunner Stockton's offensive line. Joe Burrow gets his number retired at LSU. Jayden Daniels receives a cease-and-desist from LSU. Pat McAfee gets a graceful exit to a short-lived music career. Paul Finebaum gets a politics podcast for normies. Ed Orgeron receives a podcast about anything. Mario Cristobal gets his first ACC championship. Ole Miss fans get a sleeve of golf balls. Washington State fans get a Pac-12 membership map. Northern Illinois fans get an Alaska Airlines gift card. Texas State fans get an Alaska Airlines gift card. Indiana fans get another Big Ten championship. Georgia fans get another SEC championship. Brigham Young fans get a first-round playoff game. Notre Dame fans get a January trip to Las Vegas. Lincoln Riley gets the phone number for a good realtor. Dan Mullen gets a Power Four job. Rhett Lashlee gets a phone call from Florida State. Mike Norvell gets a lounger on Buyout Beach. Luke Fickell gets a tee time with Hugh Freeze. Scott Satterfield gets a phone call from Appalachian State. Jason Eck gets easy access to Spotted Cow beer. Headquarters for these gifts is in Wisconsin. Brian Kelly receives an endorsement deal with U-Haul. Bill Belichick gets free time to write his next book. North Carolina gets a mulligan to its 2024 coaching search. Jordon Hudson gets a happy \"BANniversary\" trip with her boyfriend. Blake Toppmeyer, USA TODAY Network's senior national college football columnist, gets a fifth consecutive season of roach-free hotel rooms.",
  "summary": "It’s time to dish out gifts to some of college football's biggest names before 2026 season kicks off.",
  "key_points": [
    "Nick Saban receives a time machine",
    "Lane Kiffin gets Cleveland Browns practice squad",
    "Ohio State gets Notre Dame's schedule"
  ],
  "editors_take": null,
  "illustration": null,
  "coverage": {
    "outlets": 1,
    "also_reported_by": []
  },
  "ai_generated": true,
  "disclaimer": "Summaries, key points and the editor’s take are written by software from other outlets’ reporting and may contain errors — always check the linked original."
}