{
  "id": 19229092,
  "title": "Commentary: How I learnt to talk about infertility without sharing everything",
  "url": "https://urgent.news/2026/11/09/commentary-how-i-learnt-to-talk-about-infertility-without-sharing",
  "topic": "world",
  "section": "World",
  "published": "2026-11-09T22:00:00.000Z",
  "source": {
    "name": "CNA - Singapore",
    "slug": "cna-singapore",
    "url": "https://www.channelnewsasia.com/commentary/infertility-fertility-treatment-ivf-iui-children-6502841"
  },
  "original_language": "en",
  "account": "Women undergoing fertility treatments like in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) often have to explain their situation to their employers and colleagues, seeking time off or expressing feelings of being \"out of sorts.\" How can they discuss their experiences without revealing every detail? Can they navigate the process without disclosing any information at all? A recent study conducted by Thomson Medical and National University of Singapore revealed a significant gap in fertility knowledge among young adults in Singapore. Only one in ten participants answered basic fertility questions correctly, and only 54% were aware of early interventions such as fertility screening. Alarmingly, up to 25% of respondents were behind their desired timelines for having children, indicating a lack of understanding and complacency among aspiring parents. While infertility is not a personal failure, it is still a deeply emotional and challenging experience. When I experienced a miscarriage during my third IVF attempt, I initially withdrew from conversations, even from my husband. His support in sharing a YouTube video of a couple who faced a similar loss helped me understand that we do not have to bear this burden alone. However, being open should not equate to being completely transparent. We must choose what, with whom, and how much to share. Our partners, family, and close friends may be the people we rely on most. During the \"two-week wait\" after an embryo transfer, this anxious period between embryo transfer and pregnancy confirmation, we need to carefully consider what to disclose. For instance, sharing the news of a positive pregnancy test might be appropriate after the first trimester, similar to any other woman who discovers she is pregnant. Yet, disclosing that we are undergoing embryo transfer could lead to the question, \"So, have you found out yet?\" Even well-intentioned inquiries can feel like undue pressure during fertility treatment. Additionally, hearing success stories from others who have undergone fertility treatments may offer little comfort. Instead, a useful response is simply, \"I'm here if you want to talk,\" allowing the individual to decide how much they wish to share. By opening up, I gained a deeper understanding of the diverse fertility journeys people undertake, often without sharing their experiences. I learned about a colleague's experience with ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS), a rare complication of IVF where the ovaries become swollen and fluid retention occurs. Sharing my own story with my former boss led her to introduce me to another IVF warrior facing similar challenges. By discussing infertility more openly, we can create opportunities for families, friends, and colleagues to better understand our experiences and encourage proactive family planning. As we become more comfortable sharing our fertility journeys, discussing infertility should become as commonplace as addressing a chronic health condition. Ultimately, the decision of how much to share remains personal, but the goal is for more people to feel comfortable discussing their fertility experiences.",
  "summary": "Individuals going through fertility treatment find themselves having to explain why they are feeling out of sorts or need time off, says IVF mum Fazirah Sa’im.",
  "key_points": [],
  "editors_take": null,
  "illustration": null,
  "coverage": {
    "outlets": 1,
    "also_reported_by": []
  },
  "ai_generated": true,
  "disclaimer": "Summaries, key points and the editor’s take are written by software from other outlets’ reporting and may contain errors — always check the linked original."
}