{
  "id": 10417160,
  "title": "Money Reveals What Kind of Friend You Are",
  "url": "https://urgent.news/2026/09/28/money-reveals-what-kind-of-friend-you-are",
  "topic": "culture",
  "section": "Culture",
  "published": "2026-09-28T10:00:06.000Z",
  "source": {
    "name": "Time",
    "slug": "time",
    "url": "https://time.com/article/2026/09/28/money-reveals-what-kind-of-friend-you-are/"
  },
  "original_language": "en",
  "account": "In recent years, the financial gap between friends has become an increasingly common theme in friendships. A scene from the popular TV show Friends in 1995, where characters with low-paying jobs discuss their struggles to afford expensive group dinners and concert tickets, still resonates today. The dynamic, however, remains relevant in 2026.\n\nEarlier this year, the author had a friend plan a birthday dinner at an expensive Italian restaurant in London. Despite the author being a freelancer, they decided to spend $75 on food to accommodate their friend. However, they felt uncomfortable spending such a significant amount on their friend's birthday when they themselves couldn't afford a similar celebration. Instead, they hosted a house party and asked everyone to bring pizza, making the event more affordable and inclusive.\n\nAnother friend recently shared that she had spent over $10,000 on destination weddings and bachelorette parties in the past year. While she ultimately takes responsibility for her decision, she has noticed that financial pressure to attend expensive events can breed resentment among friends.\n\nThe wealth gap between friends often manifests in small decisions, such as where to eat, which holidays can be afforded, and whether one can join impromptu outings. Unlike romantic relationships where financial discussions are more explicit, friends rarely talk about income disparities. Consequently, those with less disposable income may feel pressured to compromise or start opting out of social activities.\n\nThe issue is widespread, with many people going into debt to attend friends' weddings or opting out of shared bills through \"Venmo ghosting.\" Psychotherapist Silvia Dutchevici points out that conversations about money are taboo in society, making it difficult to discuss salaries and financial situations with friends. Money, she argues, is a modern measurement of traits like freedom, prestige, power, and control, and is often equated with worth in our society.\n\nAcknowledging the financial gap between friends can feel like making a statement about who is more deserving or less hardworking, leading to feelings of shame on both sides. The friend with less money may feel judged or inadequate, while the more affluent friend might carry shame about their wealth.\n\nThe disparity in financial circumstances can reshape friendships, especially as the cost of living continues to rise and people in the same social circles have vastly different disposable incomes. The author has seen friends whose parents bought them houses, making their salaries primarily spent on holidays and luxuries, while their own paychecks go towards rent and basic needs.\n\nThis financial divide brings emotional challenges to friendships, such as the guilt of saying no, the shame of admitting one can't afford something, resentment towards friends who always choose expensive activities, and awkwardness when accepting the high price tag. The author believes that new etiquette around money in friendships is necessary to maintain genuine equality and avoid resentment.\n\nA practical example of addressing this issue is when a friend with a higher income suggested a sushi restaurant with a $40 per-person menu. The author appreciated their thoughtfulness and conscientiousness, which resulted in a closer friendship and no resentment. This demonstrates that addressing financial matters in friendships doesn't have to be complicated and can lead to more meaningful connections.",
  "summary": "Being a good friend means being conscious of what your choices cost other people, writes Meehika Barua.",
  "key_points": [],
  "editors_take": null,
  "illustration": null,
  "coverage": {
    "outlets": 1,
    "also_reported_by": []
  },
  "ai_generated": true,
  "disclaimer": "Summaries, key points and the editor’s take are written by software from other outlets’ reporting and may contain errors — always check the linked original."
}